


Be Still My Heart

by bavarian_angel



Category: Formula 1 RPF, MotoGP RPF, Motorcycling RPF, Motorsport RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Jealousy, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Nightmares, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, being outed, crashes, found again
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-01
Updated: 2017-05-11
Packaged: 2018-06-05 16:19:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 16,859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6712255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bavarian_angel/pseuds/bavarian_angel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Random one shots for Tumblr requests, mostly MotoGP and Motorsport.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Long Time No See (Jorge/Dani)

**Author's Note:**

> This is a place for me to put all those random little one shots for my Tumblr requests. Some will be reposts of older stuff, but all future writings will be posted here. Enjoy :)
> 
>  
> 
> **Prompt: Exes meeting again after not speaking for years au (Jorge/Dani)**

“And your new personal trainer is waiting for you down at the gym,” Ricky said, looking up at his boss.

“Yeah... I was actually thinking about cancelling this one because I need to finish the presentation.” Jorge avoided Ricky’s look. He had read the name of the personal trainer in his calender and if there was a slight chance that it was really Dani - _his_ Dani - he didn’t know if he should take it.

“ _Hi.”_

“ _Hi.”_

“ _Looks like they put us together for the science project. My name is Dani...”_

“You should. First of all, it will do you good. You’ve been too stressed since starting this new project here in Geneva. And on the other hand - you have no idea how difficult it was to get him on board. He’s one of the most popular personal trainers in Europe. Marc has been really enthusiastic about him after training with in the summer break; and he should know, being a MotoGP champion and all...”

“ _Jorge?”_

“ _Yeah?”_

“ _I know it’s completely unrelated, but... I wondered... if maybe... you’d like to come over on the weekend... for some movies or something...”_

“ _I’d love to.”_

Jorge knew that Ricky wouldn’t let him off the hook. Sighing, he finally nodded. “Alright... But only for an hour...”

“ _I just really hope you don’t regret it...”_

“ _Dani... Never in my life will I regret kissing you.”_

After all, it just couldn’t be Dani; what were the chances of meeting him again - after not seeing him for 15 years?

 

~*~

 

Pulling at the towel wrapped around his neck, Jorge took a deep breath before finally finding the courage to open the door to the rather smallish hotel gym. Scanning the room, he only noticed three other men - two of them forgotten instantly when he looked into a pair of deep brown eyes, accompanied by a breathtaking smile.

“ _I can’t come over...”_

“ _Why?”_

“ _You know why...”_

“Dani...”

“Jorge...”

“ _Dani! It’s past midnight!”_

“ _I know... Please let me in?”_

“I can’t believe...”

“Me neither...”

“ _I’ll be leaving on Monday...”_

“ _Leaving? What do you mean?”_

“ _They'll send me to a boarding school in Switzerland...”_

“It’s been...”

“... too long.”

Suddenly, after years of waiting and miles and countries apart, even a single metre of distance was too much. Closing it with one big stride, Jorge wrapped his arms around Dani, pulling him into a kiss. With a huge ache in his heart he noticed that he still felt the same; still tasted the same. After what seemed like hours, they finally pulled apart, both out of breath - both with tears in their eyes.

“I’m supposed to give you a training lesson...”

“And what would you say if we switch the gym with my hotel room for the training?”

“I’d say ‘After you, Mr. Lorenzo...’”

 

 


	2. Your Beating Heart (Marc/Dani)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Prompt: "Please, don't leave me." (Marc/Dani)**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is NOT what it seems and there is a happy ending!

It had started as a normal, dry race. The dark clouds had been looming though. So Dani wasn’t really surprised when the first drops appeared on his visor, just a bit frustrated in knowing that his chances of catching Marc, who was right in front of him at the moment, would be minimized with the younger man being a real pro in flag to flag races. What Dani didn’t expect though was the sheer flood of rain in the exact same moment they started to wave the ‘wet race’ flag.

And with the next passing second, Dani’s world stopped - the whole of time turning to slow motion, when the other Honda in front of him suddenly broke away from Marc, the distance between them not enough for Dani to avoid him.

There was no pain, just a mess of water, gravel, Repsol orange leathers and livery. A clear picture of the almost black sky soon turned blurry when Dani rolled onto his side, seeing Marc also lying on the ground a few meters away from him.

For a single second, he hesitated. Marc would get up, get rid of the few pieces of bike that he was buried under and throw a little tantrum due to the wrecked race. But he didn’t move at all...

His knees as weak as rubber and his leathers suddenly heavier than a thousand rocks, Dani struggled to get up. Pushing up his visor, he barely registered the marshalls rushing for them because he couldn’t get his eyes off Marc - _his_ Marc, his teammate, his lover. His vision blurring further, rain mixing with endless tears, as Dani fell to his knees next to Marc’s unmoving body. The younger man’s visor had been ripped off in the crash and his closed eyes made it look like he was just sleeping. But the single stream of blood running over his face told a different story.

“No, no... God please, no...”

Dani had never felt that helpless before. He wanted to shake Marc, wanted to scream at him to open his eyes and stop this stupid stunt, but all he did was pulling off his own glove with shaking fingers and slowly reaching for that spot on Marc’s neck - the one that usually drove the younger man completely crazy when Dani’s lips sucked on it. Now all he wanted was a little sign, while the sound of rain around him swallowed the mumbling of his words.

“Marc, please... please don’t do this... please, don’t leave me...”

“Dani...”

Dani felt himself being pulled away, being shaken and screamed at. He knew that the marshalls and medicals needed room to attend to Marc, but he couldn’t let go. He had to be there for him.

“No... no... let me go! Please! Please, Marc...!”

“Dani... Dani... DANI! WAKE UP!”

Like emerging from under water, Dani took a deep breath and opened his eyes, needing more than one moment to realize that the black clouds had been replaced by two very worried looking pools of dark chocolate.

“Marc?”

“Yeah...”

“Oh my God... are you okay?!”

“ _You_ were the one crying and screaming in your sleep... and you’re asking _me_ if I’m okay?”

The worry on Marc’s face mixed with confusion and slight amusement.

“Sleep...? I was just... sleeping... and it was only a...”

“Nightmare?”

Dani nodded. Looking up at Marc, he couldn’t help himself, but reach out to him, laying his hand on his cheek and feeling his warm skin.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“No...”

Instead of explaining any further, Dani simply pulled Marc down and placed a soft kiss on his lips.

No more words were spoken that night, but Dani made sure that he would only go back to sleep with his arms tightly wrapped around Marc, his fingers stroking his neck, constantly feeling the younger man’s beating pulse.

 


	3. Nighttime Sky (Marc/Dani)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Prompt: "I loved them, and now I'm going to kill them."**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know the topic of this fic isn't easy, but talking about this at work quite often these days, I thought it should also be featured here. You can interpret the end the way you like, that's why I'm not tagging this in a certain way.

It was a cold night with a full moon and thousands of stars across the night sky. Wrapping his jacket tighter around his shivering body, Dani leant back against the wall, not taking his eyes of this beautiful sight.

It seemed so wrong. How could there be any beauty in this world, when downstairs was pure hell? He had escaped up here quite a while ago, had told them that he needed some time on his own before he could make this decision, a decision he never wanted to make, but had promised to do so. And after breaking so many promises before, he had to stick with this one. That much he owed to Marc.

Dani knew that they were waiting down there for him, but he just couldn’t get himself to move. Moving meant that this was final, moving meant no way back.

When he heard that somebody opened the door to the roof, Dani tried to melt into the shadows, hoping that whoever it might be, might just have come up here to have a smoke and disappear again, but when he saw the young man, he knew that there was no sense in hiding.

“Hey...”

Dani only nodded in response, his eyes firmly on the night sky, when the young man sat down next to him. Looking at him wasn’t an option because he reminded him so much of Marc, reminding him of what he was about to lose forever...

“Beautiful night, isn’t it?”

“Hmm...”

“Reminds me of the sleepless nights before races, back when we were still kids. Our parents had no idea how nervous we had been, more often me than Marc. So when we knew that they had fallen asleep, we would sneak outside on our terrace, looking up at the stars in the sky...”

“Alex, I can’t do this...”

The younger Márquez didn’t answer, knowing that Dani wasn’t finished yet, but still needed a moment to get it out.

“I... When we talked about this, when we made the arrangements, I never thought that we would actually need this one day. I... I know I made a promise, but... I can’t do this. How can anybody do this? Marc... I love him, and now I’m going to kill him.”

“No, you’re not.”

“But...”

“You’re making a decision that Marc isn’t capable of doing himself right now. And he had good reason to trust you with that decision, the reason why it’s you and not my parents or me... You know what? Even way before you two got together, before he even knew that this between you could be way more, he always told me that you were his hero, that he always admired your unbelievable strength. No matter what’s been thrown at you, you always got back up. You were always strong enough to cope with every turn of the tide. And I’m sure he knew that this wouldn’t be easy, but he trusted your strength. The strength to fulfil his wish, no matter how hard it would be...”

Only when Alex’s words had long gone out to the night, they both turned towards each other and found the stars reflected in their tear filled eyes. It was impossible for Dani to answer, so all he did was take Alex’s hand, their fingers intertwining when they looked back up at the sky.

It was only when the very first light of the upcoming day loomed on the horizon that Dani took a deep breath, wiped his tears away and got up, pulling Alex with him. They didn’t need any more words to know that it was time for Dani to be strong enough, for both him and Marc.

 

*~*

 

“ _Dani?”_

“ _Hmm...?”_

“ _Thank you, my love.”_

 


	4. Photograph (Jorge/Dani)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Prompt: "I trusted you."**

From the moment Dani saw the first headlines, he knew that he had made a mistake - a stupid, drunken mistake. At least that was what he told himself, ignoring the fact that he hadn’t been that drunk at all and that it all had been a subject of his dreams for several years.

Alberto had warned him countless times, had told him that Lorenzo was wicked and false. However, things had changed over the years. They had both grown up, had left stuff behind, had definitely become friendly off track.

Friendly enough to get a few drinks together and ending up in Jorge’s hotel room afterwards, not just sleeping next to each other on the bed. Dani didn’t know if he should count this fact as the first mistake, but the second was definitely letting Jorge take a picture of him, pretty much naked and pretty obvious that he had just been fucked, with traces a bit obvious that he had been on the receiving end. He had laughed it off, after all the whole thing had to be a joke all together.

The third and final mistake had been kissing him goodbye in the morning, an unspoken promise that they both had enjoyed it and may just slightly be open for a second round. And now Jorge had gone around his back and spit in his face, sending that one picture to someone who had posted it on Twitter.

So one could imagine what Dani felt in the exact moment when Jorge’s name flashed up on his mobile a few minutes later. He was really tempted to throw it out of the window, but somehow he found himself actually picking up.

“I can’t believe you still have the nerve to call me.”

“Please, Dani, hear me out...”

“Why should I? I know the whole night was a mistake, but somehow I trusted you! And you took that trust and basically ran over it twice. I should have listened to Alberto all along...”

“That’s not true and you know it! I don’t know who hacked my phone or how they did it, but you have to believe me that it wasn’t me!”

“Liar! And you know what? Just fuck off and leave me be. Don’t call or talk to me again. You already killed me anyway...”

Dani didn’t even wait for an answer, just hanging up on Jorge, tears threatening to fall from his eyes.  
  


*~*

 

Dani had locked himself into his motorhome. Arriving at the track had been hell this time and right now he didn’t want to see or talk to anyone, especially not in the press conference. He had yet to talk to Livio and everybody at Honda, but after a long and painful conversation over the phone with Hector, they had arranged for Marc to attend it instead of himself.

That’s how Dani ended up, sitting on the couch of his motorhome, eyes firmly on the screen when a slightly pale and shaking Jorge asked Nick to let him make an announcement before the press conference actually started.

“I just want to get this out at the beginning. Dani isn’t here with us today and I think we all know why... Because right now he can’t get outside without being slaughtered. And all that comes down to the fact that due to very unfortunate circumstances Dani has been outed this week. I think everybody has seen it by now. I have to admit that this picture should have never been taken, but I will come back to this in a moment. At first, I want to make it clear how ashamed everybody should be who is talking about this in any bad way. So, Dani’s gay or bisexual... Did he hurt anyone? Did he break a law? Did he do anything besides having a good time with another human being who obviously had been a man? No... So we all should pay our respects to a man who is very talented on his bike and who would probably been world champion by now if it hadn’t been to a lot of misfortune. He fucking deserves our respect. If I had been in his place, if it had been me on that picture, I would just wanted to get back on track and do what I’m supposed to be doing: ride a motorcycle at a hell of a speed... And all this isn’t just some big talk from me because... because I like I said... that picture should have never been taken as well as my phone shouldn’t have been hacked with somebody taking this and putting it online. So yes, it was on _my_ phone and _I_ was the one who took that picture. This was a mistake that I admit to. It isn’t a mistake that I like men. I am gay and after all that I just want to say one last thing. Dani, if you’re watching this, please except my apology and believe me that I meant what I told you that night, every single word...”

 


	5. The Sound Of My Heart (Kimi/Nico)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Prompt: "How could you do this to me? After everything we've been through?"**

Kimi kept staring at the ceiling, while he was waiting for the familiar sound of a key in the lock, which would be hard to make out with the constant rumbling of his beating heart and the slight snoring of the man next to him in bed. Just thinking about it, having to see it in Nico’s face, was breaking him apart inside, but there was no way back now. It was the only way and even if it meant destroying them both, it was for the better after all - at least for Nico. He couldn’t just watch the younger man throwing away a more than promising future...

Thoughts whirling through his mind, Kimi almost missed it - the quiet sound that meant that this was it, that he was about to break Nico’s heart.

“Kimi? I’m home! I brought some wine for tonight.”

Hearing his boyfriend just outside the door to the bedroom, Kimi kept completely still, while the other man in the bed started to stir.

“Kimi? Are you in there?”

He still didn’t answer, but only moments later the door was opened slowly, with Nico’s fair hair appearing right after.

“Are you asle...?”

It was in exactly this moment, when Nico saw him lying there, naked, in their bed with another man. And Kimi could pinpoint the second in which Nico’s heart broke. They just kept looking at each other, numbness in Kimi’s eyes, tears threatening to fall from Nico’s.

They both didn’t even react when the other man became aware of the situation, quickly getting up and gathering his clothes before awkwardly squeezing through the door next to Nico. As soon as he was gone, Kimi couldn’t actually remember his name anymore - something foreign, maybe German - but that didn’t matter anyway. It all had been for one purpose after all.

He watched on, when Nico turned around, expecting to hear the front door afterwards, but instead the sounds made it very clear that the younger man had retreated to the kitchen, looking through the cupboards. Sighing and bracing himself for this last task, Kimi got up and put his boxers back on before following Nico, who by now was sitting at their table in the kitchen, eyes on the floor and vodka bottle in hand. He sat down on the opposite side, fidgeting with his hands, while watching Nico taking another gulp of the clear liquid.

“Why?”

He couldn’t find his voice to answer, wouldn’t have been able to without bringing in the truth. So he just shrugged, feigning an attitude as if he didn’t care - when in reality he cared too much.

“Kimi... I don’t get it... why? How could you do this to me? After everything we’ve been through?”

Pictures were flashing up in Kimi’s mind - dark corners behind the school, people whispering around the town, being thrown out by Nico’s parents, leaving everything behind for a dirty old apartment in a strange village with both of them working odd hours just to make it through...

“So, you’re not going to say anything?”

He just shook his head, still not able to look into his eyes.

“You know what? Fuck you, Kimi... fuck you.”

Those words were still ringing in his ears, long after Nico had gotten up and had left him behind. It was only when Kimi himself had emptied the rest of the bottle, that he got up, opening a cupboard and pulling out the envelope. He hesitated for a moment before he pulled the letter out once more. The tears in his eyes made the lines blur, but he already knew it by heart anyway, had known it the moment it had arrived - Nico completely oblivious that he had applied in his name...

_Dear Mr. Rosberg, we thank you for your application and we’re glad to be able to welcome you to the University of Cambridge in our scholarship programme for gifted students..._

This was just the last piece that showed him that Nico was meant for something better and Kimi would do _anything_ to make sure that he would get it, even breaking both of their hearts.

 


	6. In The Face Of Truth (Jorge/Marc)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Prompt: "It's just you - you're all alone."**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not portraying Vale in a positive light in this, so consider yourselves warned. 
> 
> This is set in a possible future with Dani at Yamaha.

It was Sepang all over again. A Honda and a Yamaha running way close together over several laps, Marc and Valentino battling for the lead as fiercely as ever, this time with Dani directly behind them. And once again, knowing the championship standings, Vale snapped.

Only this time, he wasn’t just running Marc wide. With the camera angle, it could have been just a one to one repeat of Malaysia 2015, but Dani had a front row seat to see Vale’s leg going out, resulting in Marc crashing.

With Vale still way off the racing line, Dani ducked under and took the lead from his teammate. Not being able to turn around, Dani just hoped that Marc had gotten up alright, but from that moment on, he was solely focused on winning the race and therefore extending his lead in the championship.

Completely in race mode and trying to put more distance between himself and Valentino, Dani barely registered the black flag that was being held when he came down the home straight. What burned in his mind though was the number beneath it - 46.

 

*~*

 

The win had been a very sweet one, but what had followed was a nightmare. Nobody wanted to know how he had accomplished his win, but everyone asked him what he had seen and if he thought that Valentino’s disqualification had been justified.

For a moment Dani actually had to check his own attire - the Yamaha blue a definite sign that he hadn’t travelled back to 2015. In the end he had tried to stay as neutral as possible, explaining that he hadn’t seen it that clearly after all and that race direction would have their reasons for their decision. It did make him think though, about the championship, about the relationship with his teammate, about his own actions back at the circuit in Sepang.

Not really coming to a conclusion, Dani wandered around when they had finished the media work, not in the mood to meet up with his brother and parents in his motorhome, but hoping to find some peace in the whirlwind of a closing down paddock - only to end up in front of the one person he really didn’t want to see right now.

However, Valentino didn’t take any notice of him, looking around the motorhome in front of them, eyes blown wide in shock.

Dani was just about to turn around and leave him, and whatever he was observing, behind, when he noticed Vale taking out his mobile phone, sneakingly taking a picture of the scene, sparking the curiosity in his teammate. Taking another step forward was enough to catch a glimpse at the people around the corner - a slightly limping and bruised Marc, who had just left the Clinica Mobile as it looked like, and the man, now clad in red and whose bike he had taken over.

Obviously not aware that they were being observed, Jorge whispered something into Marc’s ear before slightly stroking the younger man’s pale face.

You didn’t have to be a genius to realise that those two were more than just barely acquainted riders in the MotoGP class - and it took Dani less than a second to simply know what Vale had taken a picture off.

Just when Marc and Jorge had disappeared around the corner, Valentino turned around, evidently startled, only noticing Dani standing there now.

“What the fuck did you just do?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about...”

Slipping his mobile back into the pocket of his jeans, Vale tried to sneak past Dani, but the younger man made sure that the Italian wouldn’t be able to escape, blocking his only route out. Seeing Vale’s nonchalant face, Dani wasn’t able to hide his anger anymore.

“You know very well what I’m talking about. And I thought, you kicking Marc off his bike was your new low... but this...”

“So you think that, too? It was a freaking racing incident, that’s all.”

“No, it wasn’t... it was just you. And you know what? You’re all alone now because I will go to race direction and will tell them exactly what I saw today in the race. And I will make sure that the world knows just what kind of an asshole they’re cheering on. And this...”

Using the shocked state Valentino was in right now, Dani pulled out the Italian’s phone, throwing it on the floor with such force that it completely broke on impact.

“This will never see the light of the day.”

Dani didn’t even wait for a reaction, when he turned around and stormed off, taking out his own phone as soon as he had turned around the corner. When it was picked up on the other end of the line, he heard some quiet mumbling at first before he was greeted by Marc’s voice.

“Hey, Dani. Congratulations on your...”

“I’m sorry, Marc...”

“What?”

“I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am for not speaking my mind in Sepang. I’m sorry that I just realised... And I want you to be sure that your secret is safe with me and that I wish you and Jorge all the best in the world...”

 


	7. Mine (Jenson/Nico)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Prompt: "Wait a minute. Are you jealous?"**

Jenson is quite a carefree guy, that much Nico knows about him. Actually he knows him inside out and maybe that is the problem - because usually Nico can tell when the older driver is just joking and when his actions really mean something.

After all, being Formula 1 drivers and being in a more or less secret gay relationship means that he can rely on him no matter what. But sometimes there are situations in which Nico isn’t that sure what Jenson is really getting at, making him nervous like a heartbeat that’s out of its rhythm.

Today, it is sitting in the press conference, Nico himself in the back row, watching his lover joke and laugh, more than once, with Sebastian of all people. And he’s pretty sure that Jenson’s hand really doesn’t need to be that low on Sebastian’s back while whispering something into his ear...

It’s really hard for Nico to not just throw away his microphone and stomp out of the press conference. So instead of throwing a tantrum like a toddler, Nico averts his eyes from Jenson and focuses on Valtteri’s neck in front of him for the remainder of the questions that aren’t directed at him.

It’s only in the back of his mind that he realises what he’s doing right now - a memory creeping up on him of Jenson and him in their bed in Monaco, discussing about who they’ve already wanked over in the paddock, with Valtteri being on both of their lists. Trying to keep down his blush, Nico sends a silent prayer up above as soon as the press conference is over, him the first one to get up and rush outside.

He knows that it might look strange to Jenson, as he normally waits for him, the situation normal enough for them to interact with each other without looking odd. Today he doesn’t care.

Nico isn’t sure if he hears his name being called behind him, but he just keeps his head down, leaving the building as fast as he can, unconsciously trying to get a distant between himself and those images of Jenson and Sebastian. A quick check of his mobile phone confirms that he doesn’t need to be in the team meeting for another hour, so Nico tries to get the quickest way back to his private room in the Mercedes hospitality - only to be grabbed by someone and pulled into a dark corner between two trucks just a few metres before reaching his destination.

“What the fuck?”

“Language, princess!”

Usually Jenson’s laugh makes Nico’s skin tingle, but today he is still too fed up with him, his face probably showing it as the older driver soon frowns at him.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong...”

“Oh, that’s why you were waiting for me after the press conference, right?”

“I just wanted to relax a little bit before the meeting because it will be a busy weekend. Am I not allowed to?”

“No, you’re not. Your my personal butler, remember?”

Nico hates Jenson right now. He hates his non-stop irony. He hates the fact that he’s supposed to be behind a locked door since 3 minutes ago.

“Why don’t you ask Sebastian to be your personal butler, your personal _everything_ , hmm?”

“What the...?”

“Because obviously you were very fond of each other in front of all those cameras.”

“Wait a minute. Are you jealous?”

“I just think your hands should be on _my_ body - and mine alone.”

Another loud laugh makes Nico shiver - as well as Jenson’s hand in his neck, pulling him in until they’re forehead to forehead.

“Oh, you _are_ jealous, princess... shall I show you what my hands can actually do to your body? Things that Sebastian can’t even imagine in his wildest fantasies...”

Jenson’s free hand travels down Nico’s back, teasing the skin where his shirt slipped up from his trousers before stroking him around his hip, only to briefly lay it on Nico’s groin, a burning hot touch he’s feeling through the layers of his clothes.

“Jenson... not here...”

“I know... just a little something to set you up for later when I’ll meet you in your hotel room. Head’s up, princess. Sebastian wouldn’t even know what to do with me... And now - enjoy your team meeting.”

Pressing a quick kiss on Nico’s lips, Jenson takes away his hand and turns around to leave as if nothing happened.

“You’re evil.”

“Yeah, but I’m _your_ evil. Never forget that again...”

Watching Jenson disappear, Nico groans, his trousers way tighter than a couple minutes ago. He really hates Jenson right now. But at least, he’s the only one allowed to hate him like that.

 


	8. Save Me (Mark/Seb)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Prompt: "I've seen the way you look at him when you think no one's looking"**

Mark was seeing red, Ferrari red. He was seeing Sebastian only a few meters in front of him, laughing and talking with Kimi, his hand on the lower back of the Finnish driver as they entered the Ferrari hospitality together. Mark just kept on staring at the door, long closed behind them, not just feeling but knowing there was more to it than a simple barrier of time and space between them.

“You ready to go?”

Fernando’s voice startled him as Mark hadn’t realised that the Spaniard had already arrived. He could see it in his face that he knew, but Mark didn’t give him a chance to say anything as he nodded and turned around to walk down to the car park at the end of the paddock. He needed to get away from here. He needed a drink.

 

*~*

 

Leaning back in his chair, Mark looked up at the night time sky of Abu Dhabi. It was almost as clear as back home in Australia, the stars seemingly endless up above. Sometimes, in moments like this, Mark wished he would be just another random guy down under, possibly with a farm in the middle of nowhere, his loyal dogs by his side, with no problems besides a possible change of the weather. No racing, no crashes, no Germans haunting him...

“You falling asleep on me?”

Mark looked over to Fernando coming back out on the balcony, carrying a beer and a water bottle and placing both on the small table between them before sitting down himself.

“No, mate, just thinking...”

“I think you think too much.”

“Maybe I’m finally getting old.”

“Nah, wise maybe, old you already are...”

Mark simply had to laugh, seeing the smug grin on his friend’s face. Not really knowing what to answer to that, he just shook his head and took another sip of his beer before looking back up into the sky.

“Mark?”

“Yeah?”

“We are friends for a very long time now.”

“Yeah, mate. What are you getting at?”

“Is there something you want to tell me?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about...”

“About you and Seb.”

Looking back at Fernando, checking if he was maybe joking with him, Mark was met with a serious but open face. Swallowing against the lump that was forming in his throat, Mark tried to shrug it off, actually not able to keep looking into his friend’s eyes.

“Again, no idea what you mean.”

“I’ve seen the way you look at him when you think no one’s looking.”

“Really? How do I look at him?”

“Like a drowning man looking at a life boat of which he is not sure if it will make it to dry land...”

“I see you’re trying to become a philosopher now. Let me tell you something: stick with racing, mate.”

With a couple of huge gulps, Mark finished his beer, placing the empty bottle on the table before getting up.

“I’m off to bed. Might not be racing tomorrow, but I’m knackered. Goodnight, Fernando.”

“You’re running away.”

“Aren’t we always running? See you tomorrow...”

 

*~*

 

_This is Fernando. Don’t know if you still have my number. I need to talk to you..._

 

*~*

 

It had been a sleepless night for Mark. Fernando’s words had kept swirling through his mind, bringing back memories he had buried very deep and had actually hoped to forget, but now there were back full force.

He had just finished his shower, wrapping a towel around his hip and checking his reflection in the mirror to see if he looked as bad as he felt, when he heard the knock on his door. Groaning, Mark let his head fell forward, forehead against the cool surface of the mirror. He should have cancelled the breakfast date with Fernando last night, should have known it was a very bad idea after that talk.

Sighing and shaking his head, Mark left the bathroom, already thinking about a possible excuse. However, any thought about that went out of the window, when he opened the door, being faced with the only other human being, besides his Spanish friend, he really didn’t want to see right now.

“Sebastian...”

“Can I come in?”

Mark really wanted to slam the door into his face, already planning on hiding in his room all day and emptying the mini bar, but his body betrayed him, nodding and stepping aside to let his former teammate through.

Only when he closed the door, Mark realised in what state he was in, grabbing the towel to make sure it would stay in place. And of course, Sebastian had also noticed - his eyes wandered down Mark’s naked torso, a slight blush appearing on his cheeks.

It felt surreal standing here like this. It felt wrong in so many ways, but there was also this tiny spark telling him that he could stay like this forever. And this spark burned his insides - exploding in a sea of sensations when Sebastian reached out, fingertips carefully running from his collarbone, down his chest to his hips. It was the slightest touch imaginable, but Mark was sure it would leave a scar.

“Do you still think about it?” Sebastian’s voice was barely a whisper, like he was afraid that this was just a dream and any loud noise would wake him up.

“Every single day...”

Their eyes met and Mark could see all the emotions in those blue pools looking back at him, some he had expected to be there, some he had never expected to show again.

“Sebastian... what are you doing here?”

“Let’s say I got a little nudge from somebody who is a bit fed up with me...”

“And now? Already regretting it again?”

“Maybe... maybe it just took me too long...”

Fingertips were back to stroking, edging on the end of the towel before going upwards again.

“We shouldn’t be doing this.”

“I know. Believe me, I know.”

“This is wrong on so many levels.”

“Then why does it feel so good?”

“We’ve been there...”

“Yeah, and it still hurts.”

Capturing Sebastian’s hand in his own, Mark closed in on him, unconsciously pressing the German against the wall, difference in height suddenly apparent again. He could have just left him there, could have thrown him out of his room and kill Fernando for breakfast - but instead Mark bent down, stopping for a moment with a slight distance from Sebastian’s lips, before finally giving in. His lips tasted even sweeter than in his memory and soon he couldn’t hold himself back anymore, his teasing tongue asking for entrance - which was soon granted.

Time and space lost all its meaning for Mark. Countless nights he had been dreaming about this, had wanted this again and now it was finally here, in his hotel room with him only in a towel, both of his hands on either side of Sebastian’s head, tasting this bitter sweet kiss on his lips again.

Hours, or maybe minutes later, they broke apart again, both panting is if they had just finished a marathon. Mark looked down at the younger man, who had his eyes closed, no way for him to tell how he felt about this. He just stood there, breathing heavily, not even moving. Mark could hear the seconds tick away in his mind and with every passing moment, his heart fell deeper and deeper. The horrifying thought of a mistake was building up clearer and clearer. He had to step back, get some space between them.

“We shouldn’t have done this.”

And there it was, the tiny movement he had been waiting for, in form of a hesitant nod. Mark could literally feel his heart being shattered by the truth of it. He knew it. He knew it was only logical, but it still hurt. It hurt so much that he turned around when Sebastian went for the door. But the sound that was supposed to end this between them, once and for all, didn’t come. There was a door handle grabbed, but hesitation reignited that tiny spark that Mark had felt earlier - was it enough to get the fire going or would it be blown out by the wind?

“Sebastian?”

“Hmm.”

He had always hoped for a sign, anything to show him that his suffering over the years would come to an end. He had waited in vain. Because in this moment, Mark realised that despite everything that had happened between them back then, despite the shouts, tears and betrays, maybe he had to be the one to throw the life line. Maybe he was the boat which was about to save the drowning man.

“Seb... stay. Please...”

There had never been a more pleasant sound in Mark’s ears than the silence of a door not being opened.

 


	9. Tribute (Marc/Dani)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Prompt: Only Human**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At first I wasn't sure if I should write this story like that for this prompt, but there was something I needed to get out, needed to put into words.
> 
> The background of this story is the passing of Luis Salom. Proceed with caution if it upsets you too much, but I hope I gave it a little positive spin at the end.
> 
>   **I guess this is my little tribute to Luis. You will always be in our hearts.**

Something was definitely different. It wasn’t the house, it wasn’t the partly clouded night time sky, it wasn’t Marc’s favourite pasta that Dani had cooked. But something had changed since they had come back from Mallorca.

Sighing into his glass of wine, Dani put it down again, his eyes still on Marc who had barely eaten a bite, with the pasta probably long gone cold by now. He didn’t need to ask what was wrong because it was more than obvious. After a while Marc seemed to become aware of Dani’s looks, finally placing the fork on the plate and shrugging in apology.

“I’m sorry. It’s really good, like always. I’m just... just not really hungry.”

“I know. Tell me, what’s going through your head?”

Marc simply shook his head, still not looking up at his boyfriend, fingers absently playing with the laid out napkin. Reaching over to lay his hand on Marc’s, Dani didn’t press him with words, knowing he would just block him off when he felt confronted. The younger man needed his time - like they all did these days.

They both watched their fingers dance with each other for a while, finally entwining and just feeling the other one, before Marc looked up in the end and Dani’s heart missed a beat, raw emotions in the younger man’s eyes.

“It’s like, after everything - the race, testing, Mallorca - it starts to sink in... and... I don’t know how to deal with it.”

“Hmm.”

Dani didn’t really have an answer to that. He was still trying to get the grips on it himself - and he couldn’t really imagine how Marc was feeling about it, so much younger, so full of life.

For a while they just stayed like that sitting at the table in silence, both again looking at their hands, before Marc finally found his voice again.

“You know, back with Marco, I don’t think it ever really sunk in. I mean, with my own crash and everything, I was so focused on my own problems, my health and career... Of course, I was shocked, but now it’s like there’s this empty pit in my stomach. Dani, we both already have our fair share of crashes. Hell, even Luis had his share. But usually you get up and just brush of the dust before getting back on the bike. Okay, sometimes you break a bone or something, maybe miss one race, but...”

Marc fell silent for a moment. It was like his whole body was suddenly deflating, his arms barely supporting his sinking body while leaning on the table.

“But...?”

“But... you get this feeling of being invincible. Like you become blind to the things that can happen. I mean, look at me! I crashed at over 300km/h and the worst thing was my swollen and battered chin... And then you see a young, enigmatic rider lose his life like that. It... I think it made me realise that were only human after all, that we only have this one precious life.”

Taking a deep breath, Marc felt that one tear running down his cheek, unable to hold it back, before it was brushed away by Dani’s gentle fingers.

“That’s true. And you know what? Luis wouldn’t want us wasting any of it... Come with me.”

Dani once again took Marc’s hand, pulling the younger man up from his chair and not letting go of him until they were outside on the moon lit terrace.

“Wait a minute...”

Marc couldn’t help himself but look on a little bit confused when Dani went back inside, soon disappearing out of his view into the kitchen. Not knowing what his boyfriend was up to, Marc turned around again, letting his eyes wander over the dark garden and then up to the sky where stars were peeking out between the clouds, accompanied by a crescent moon which seemed to smile down at him. The sound of clinking glasses made him turn around - an irritated smile tugging at his lips as he saw Dani trying to handle a champagne bottle in one hand - and three glasses in the other.

“So... My guess is that, if Luis was with us here tonight - and I’m sure in his own way he is - he would want us to celebrate. Celebrate the joy of having known him, celebrate his achievements on and off the track and most importantly, celebrate life for what it is.”

Popping the champagne bottle in a way more graceful way than Marc could have ever done it, Dani poured it in all three glasses before handing one to Marc and grabbing himself one. Finally, he took the third and last one, after putting down the bottle, raising it up towards the sky.

“Here’s to our mates who we lost on the way. Thank you for sharing your time down here with us and everything you taught us. You may have grabbed front row positions, but let me tell you, guys, lights out only when we will be on the grid again with you. And that will be one hell of a race!”

 


	10. My Personal Demon (Jenson/Nico)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Prompt: "Could you ever be happy with me?"**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Warning: This fic deals with mental illness and referenced suicide attempts. Please proceed with caution if these are triggers for you.**
> 
> This is obviously an AU. I'm struggling a bit myself these days, but I also wanted to write about mental issues because sometimes it can't and shouldn't be ignored, shunned or anything else. For a lot of us, mental health issues are part of our daily lives.

The first thing Jenson noticed, when he came home after work, was the darkness in the apartment. Obviously, Nico had tried to shut out any daylight by pulling all the blinds. Dropping his keys on the small table in the hall, Jenson sighed. It was a bad sign.

Of course, he had noticed the signs in the last days, maybe even weeks if he was honest with himself, but he had hoped that it had been other circumstances. Now he couldn’t deny it anymore.

“Nico?”

Jenson didn’t get an answer. For a moment, the apartment seemed lifeless, immediately sending Jenson into panic mode. He quickly pulled his mobile phone out of his pocket and took two big strides into the living room - only to sigh in relief when he saw Nico cowering on the floor in front of the sofa. A quick check confirmed no empty pill bottles and no bleeding wounds, even though the younger man didn’t seem aware of him at all.

“Babe?”

Jenson’s voice was low, his hand slowly reaching out to touch his boyfriend’s trembling shoulder. Only after a long moment, the slight rocking movement stopped and Nico turned his head towards Jenson. One look into his eyes was enough for the older man to know that something was definitely wrong, that his fears had come true.

“Jenson?”

“Yeah, babe, it’s me.”

“Did you lock the door when you came in?”

“Yeah...”

“Good... They kept knocking and knocking, on the door and the windows. They were screaming that they’ll get to me...”

“It’s alright... Are they still screaming?”

For a moment Nico looked at him as if he had grown a second head, before he quickly shook his head.

“No, of course not. They were so loud that you wouldn’t miss them...”

Turning his head away towards the big windows, still covered by curtains, the scared look returned to Nico’s eyes. The following silence was more than just deafening.

Sitting down next to Nico, Jenson knew that right now, he couldn’t do anything else for the younger man, other than just being there. He kept on rubbing soothing circles on his lower back, his eyes wandering over Nico’s arms, which were tightly wrapped around his knees. In this position you could only see a hint of the scars, but Jenson knew that they would always be there - after all he bore very similar ones himself.

After what seemed like an eternity, Nico started to visibly relax - a sure sign for Jenson that he would be able to talk to him again.

“Have you eaten anything today?”

“Hmm...”

“Come on then. Let’s go to the kitchen and I will prepare some dinner for you.”

 

*~*

 

Jenson made sure that Nico saw and approved of all the ingredients of the simple pasta dish he assembled. It wasn’t much, but it would be something in their stomachs and with everything that was looming at the horizon, nourishment would be something essential to build on.

They didn’t really talk during their dinner, Jenson almost constantly having his eyes on the younger man, looking out for any changes in his movements or facial expression. And as soon as they were finished, he got up and brought over a new bottle of water as well as Nico’s medication, placing both in front of his boyfriend.

He had made sure to bring the whole bottles of pills, not the prepared pill box, not wanting to provoke anything. Despite that he noticed the short hesitation and was more than relieved when Nico took them without any complaints. At least they weren’t at that stage yet apparently.

 

*~*

 

It was only hours later that Jenson let himself sink onto their couch, taking a deep breath in knowing that Nico was asleep now. He could feel himself shaking and he hated this feeling. After all, he had to be strong for Nico now.

Absent mindedly, Jenson rubbed his left forearm, the slightly scarred tissue bringing back a lot of memories - memories he had wanted to wipe out forever. On the other hand, if it hadn’t come down to that, he would have never met Nico.

Back then, it had been a really hard time for Jenson. Trouble at work, divorcing his wife, his employer finally telling him that he had gotten too old for the job. Jenson had never thought that he would suffer from depression one day, but it had slowly but surely crawled up to him, until one day he hadn’t seen a way out anymore. The aftermath had been even worse at first, but then he had realised that this hospitalization had not only saved his life, literally, but also helped him get back on track. And it had brought Nico along.

Their therapists hadn’t approved of their relationship, but they had been each other’s anchor in a very hard time. Up until this day, Jenson didn’t now every single thing that had happened to Nico before they had met in the hospital. He also had been married before, even had a little daughter and a successful job - until one day the voices had come.

They both had gone a long way until now, both reasonable stable and still on medication, but living a life. However, Jenson knew the statistics, knew that they both were prone for a relapse. And as hard as it was to admit it to himself, Jenson realized that he couldn’t do it on his own. They needed help or they both would end up back at the hospital.

Picking up his phone, Jenson dialled an all too familiar number before listening to it going straight to the answer machine as nobody was in anymore at this hour anyway.

“ _You’ve reached Dr. Mark Webber. Unfortunately, you’re calling outside of consultation hours. Please leave a message and I’ll get back to you as soon as possible.”_

“Hello, Dr. Webber. This is Jenson Button. I’m calling in for my boyfriend, Nico Rosberg. We need to come in and see you...”

 

*~*

 

An hour and a glass of wine later, Jenson found his way to their bed, but not the sleep he desired. And a slight stroke on his arm showed him that he wasn’t the only one. Turning towards Nico, he could just about make out his face in the darkness. Without giving it another thought, Jenson reached out and pulled him close, until they found their usual position with Nico’s head tucked under his chin, both of their arms wrapped around each other.

“Jenson?”

“Yeah?”

“How... I mean... Could you ever be happy with me? With everything inside me?”

Jenson looked down at him, but Nico just pressed his face into his chest, the slight moisture showing him that he was crying. He wished that he would look up, would see the emotions in his eyes, but he didn’t want to force him if all of this was already too much.

“Nico... I am happy with you. Very single day. I know we both have our struggles, but we made it through already once in the past and we will also do it in the future. Without you being there, I don’t know if I would have made it through. You showed me that there was something worth fighting for and it’s still worth it today. You showed me that this life is worth living and now I can only pay you back by showing you that I love you, no matter what you’re going through. You’re worth the fight, Nico, every single day.”

 


	11. You Are The Key (Alex/Dani)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Prompt: Babysitter/Single Dad**

Dani wasn’t sure if it had been such a good idea after all, when he heard the door bell ringing, but there had been no other way. Maria was down with a fever and if he didn’t want to cancel one of the most important business dates of this month, he had to go with this solution.

He had thought that his colleague had been joking when he had suggested his younger brother as a substitute babysitter. If he was anything like Marc, Dani wouldn’t be completely sure about this. He did trust his colleague, but when he wasn’t a complete genius in his department, he was just a kid himself.

Sighing to himself and still doubting in his mind, Dani went over to the door. Only after a moment of hesitation he opened it - and he was met with the biggest brown eyes he had ever seen.

“Hello?”

“Hi. I’m Alex, Marc’s brother. Mr. Pedrosa, right?”

“Call me Dani and please come in.”

Stepping aside to let the younger man through, Dani couldn’t take his eyes off him. He immediately saw the resemblance with Marc, but he still seemed different. He was taller and he was missing that certain type of confidence in his stride. But if he was really honest with himself, Dani could only find one word for the younger man: beautiful.

Trying to get his mind to focus on the important things again, Dani slightly shook his head, hoping that Alex wouldn’t notice it.

“I’m glad you could make in such short notice. Normally, I have a certain babysitter for such occasions, but unfortunately she’s ill.”

“Oh, it’s okay. It’s a nice break to studying.”

“For the finals?”

“Actually... university... second semester of pre medicine...”

Alex’s words were accompanied by a slight blush, making Dani not only impressed by his achievements, but also tingling in certain places, which were definitely not appropriate for this situation.

“Wow, I had no idea. Marc usually just tells me about your motorcycle adventures.”

“Probably because that’s our common ground. He’s the expert in economics, I have no idea about numbers...”

“I guess that’s more than okay. And maybe a little medical knowledge might come in more handy with this job. Sofia is a little prone to accidents lately, but I really hope it will be a quiet night. Speaking of...”

Having arrived in the living room, Dani tore his eyes from Alex’s face and looked over to the pile of toys in the corner, the common room having turned into a play area lately so that Dani could check up on his daughter more easily when he was working from home. However, right now there was no sign of her, until his eyes fell on a small heap covered with a blanket, the slight movement giving away what was hidden underneath. Turning back to Alex, Dani shrugged slightly, whilst trying to hide the sadness and worry on his face.

“You know, after everything that happened, she’s not that open with people she doesn’t know...”

He had expected pity or annoyance on Alex’s face, but there was only a very understanding smile.

“That’s okay...”

Not able to say anything else, Dani watched on as Alex sat down on the floor in front of the blanket bundle, just waiting until a small nose and one eye peaked out, looking up at him.

“Hey there... my name is Alex. That looks like one cuddly blanket you got there...”

For a long moment, nothing happened. Sofia just kept on looking at Alex and Dani was sure that any second her face would disappear again. There were no words to describe his feelings when he unexpectedly heard his daughter’s voice only a few seconds later.

“It is...”

A warm smile appeared on Alex’s face, while Dani was actually fighting the tears threatening to run down his face, when Sofia peeled back more of the blanket and reached out to younger man’s hand, stroking it with the blanket as if she just wanted to show him how cuddly it really was.

It was in this moment that Dani knew that he wouldn’t need to worry about tonight anymore.

 

*~*

 

“So, did Alex get there on time?”

“Yeah. Thank you, Marc. I owe you one.”

“Oh, I know. By the way... did I mention that Alex was single?”

 

*~*

 

It was over an hour later than expected, when Dani finally came home again. As soon as the delay had been obvious, he had asked Marc for Alex’s mobile number, not wanting to risk calling over the land line in case Sofia had already fallen asleep. A cocky grin from Marc’s side and a short WhatsApp message later, Alex had assured him that it wouldn’t be a problem to stay longer than anticipated.

After entering his house as quietly as possible, Marc’s words from earlier still ringing in his ears, Dani followed the low light into the living room. And what he saw made his heart melt instantly.

Alex and Sofia were cuddled up on the couch, both covered by her blanket, with his daughter fast asleep in Alex’s arms. As soon as the younger man noticed Dani standing in the door way, a warm smile spread on his face, before his whispered words filled the quietness of the room.

“She wanted to stay up to tell you goodnight, but the little princess lost the fight about an hour ago.”

Walking over to them, Dani knelt down, carefully stroking his daughter’s head as not to wake her up, before his eyes found Alex again, who was watching him with so much affection. Dani would have sworn that his heart was about to explode.

“Then I guess it’s off to bed for the little angel...”

As gingerly as possible, Dani peeled away the blanket and lifted his daughter up, fully aware of the burning feeling when his hand brushed Alex’s arm. With Sofia cuddling into his neck, Dani just stood there for a moment. Neither him nor Alex were moving or able to take their eyes off each other. Swallowing against the lump in his throat, Dani finally found his voice again.

“I was wondering... if maybe... after I’ve taken her to bed... you would like to share a glass of wine with me?”

“I would love to.”

And it only took four words to heal Dani’s heart.

 


	12. Turn Around (Marc/Mark)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Prompt: "I had to see you again."**

Mark had no idea why he was doing this to himself. He could be home right now, maybe on a late night walk with his dogs. Instead, he was in a huge villa somewhere at the Spanish coast, nursing a beer while trying to tune out the loud music ringing through his ears.

One day he would be able to say no to Fernando, but today hadn’t been the day. For whatever reason, Fernando had been very keen that he would attend his party, not accepting a single argument against it. However, so far Mark had missed whatever might be the highlight of tonight. It couldn’t have been Fernando introducing his new girlfriend Linda - the younger man wasn’t that cruel after all.

Taking another sip from his beer, Mark let his eyes wander through the crowd in the living room, which had been turned into a dance floor for tonight. There were some familiar faces, but he simply wasn’t in the mood for the same old small talk. And of course, in the end his eyes fell on Fernando, sitting on the couch on the far end of the room, his arms around Linda while laughing at something she said. It was pure torture watching them, but he just couldn’t look away when Linda pulled Fernando down for a short kiss; the sight of it leaving a burning feeling inside of Mark.

With a sigh, Mark got up, finally able to pull his focus back to emptying his beer, before he making his way through the crowd to pick up another one from the makeshift bar. Knowing that he had to stay at least another hour before it would be decent to disappear, but also unable to stay in the room any longer, Mark soon found his escape to the outside terrace, relief washing over him when he noticed that it was almost empty - safe for a slightly drunk couple, who were about to disappear into the shadows of the garden, and a young man, sitting on one of the sun loungers and staring into the bright turquoise of the lit pool.

About to head to the other side, still desperately looking for privacy, Mark realised that the other man did look familiar after all. It took him a moment to place the face, not used to see him in non-branded private clothes.

Usually he would turn the other way, definitely not keen on a conversation with somebody even slightly related to work, but there was something in the younger man’s look that made him stare at him. The glass of wine next to him on the floor seemed to be abandoned a long time ago. One could easily think of him as a lifeless doll if it wouldn’t be for the slow blinking every few seconds. And it was that shallow look in those eyes that made Mark move in a certain direction.

“Hey...”

Mark noticed the slight twitch in his body, like snapping back into a reality after being gone into time and space. The younger man looked up at him, frowning at his towering figure. Confusion soon was replaced with recognition and a nod of acceptance, before his eyes wandered back to his waving reflection in the pool. Mark knew that it was the opposite of an invitation, but something told him that he just couldn’t turn around now.

“Any place for a namesake on that lounger?”

This time Marc didn’t look up; and a short shrug was positive enough for Mark to sit down next to him, placing his almost full beer bottle next to the glass of wine.

For a long time, they just sat there, both staring on as Mark waited for any reaction from the other man. Only when their look met in the reflection of the pool, there was a quick spark, both suppressing a gasp, but too soon the moment was gone again as Marc turned away his face. Taking his eyes from the watery surface, Mark focused on him again, but Marc kept on looking the other way.

“Shouldn’t you be in there? Partying? Getting it on with the girls?”

Before there was an answer, Mark immediately noticed the sudden tension in the young rider’s shoulders, the stopped breathing and shaking in his hands. But once again, it was gone when Marc seemed to get his body under control.

“No... Don’t feel like it tonight...”

Mark waited and waited for him to continue, but it was in vain. And too soon he watched on as Marc got up, not even reaching for his glass, but still hesitating for a short moment.

“Sorry. I’m not good company tonight...”

Still unable to look into his eyes, Marc was about to turn away, but he didn’t get far, the older man reaching for his hand to stop him.

“Wait.”

It was only then that Marc looked back over his shoulder, first focusing on their hands, before their eyes finally met. And it took literally Mark’s breath away.

There was something in the younger man’s eyes. He couldn’t place it, but they were so full of emotion, almost too much to take in. Mark had no idea what had caused it, who had put those hints of doubt and disappointment into them, but right now he knew that he would do anything to wipe it out, to make them shine again.

He noticed them both swallowing with difficulty, both wanting to say something, but unable to. Not letting go of his hand, Mark stood up, soon towering the younger man as he reached out with his free hand, laying it on his cheek. The soft touch almost burned him, but the suppressed sigh on the other side told him more than enough. He watched on as Marc slowly closed his eyes, slightly pressing into the touch. Mark pulled him close, the urge to press his lips on Marc’s almost too strong, but he knew that he couldn’t do it - not out here. Leaning close to the younger man’s ear, carefully letting out his breath and listening to his own rough voice as he couldn’t hold it back anymore.

“Come with me.”

Mark couldn’t even place his feelings as he saw Marc nod, relief and anxiety definitely in the mix. Not wasting a another second, he turned them around, coldness running through him when he let go of Marc’s hand. But soon the heat returned as he lay it on his lower back, starting to manoeuvre the younger man inside and through the unsuspecting crowd, until they were upstairs and he closed the door behind them.

And once again, they stood there, just staring at each other, still unable to say a single word. It wasn’t necessary however. Because only a moment later, Marc crashed into him, pulling him down in a fierce kiss. What followed passed in a blur of sensations and emotions for Mark, tasting the younger man, feeling his shivering skin as he started to undress him, hearing his moans as his fingers slipped into his boxers, dying of the heat as he pushed into him only minutes later. Mark never knew that death could feel so sweet.

 

*~*

 

But another kind of death felt harsh and cold, when only a few hours later, with the sun slowly creeping into his room, Mark woke up to an empty bed. For a moment, he thought that it all had been a cruel dream, but feeling a slightly damp patch, when he reached out to the other side of the bed, told him the truth.

Turning on his back and staring at the ceiling, Mark listened to the quietness of the house in those early morning hours. And there was still no sound as he tried to bite back the tears and swallow the angry sobs, realising what had happened.

He had done it again; had given in to the urge, to the slight possibility of a dream that would never come true. While he was lying there, slightly shaking with silent sobs, Mark’s only hope was, whenever he would see Marc again, he would still talk to him. That this hadn’t changed anything. That maybe in the future there was a chance for a friendship. Just like it had happened with Fernando.

 

*~*

 

Wrapping the sheet tighter around her naked body, Linda looked on as the white Honda rolled down the driveway and soon disappeared through the front gate. Waiting for another moment, still hoping he would turn around, she soon sighed with frustration.

She had seen them last night, outside and later disappearing upstairs. It had made her so happy, had made both of them happy because Marc deserved happiness. Just like she had found happiness with the man still fast asleep in the bed behind her. They had both been played with, both been part of a game of chess, with only a dramatic checkmate setting them both free.

As soon as she realised that Marc wouldn’t come back, she finally turned around and let herself sink back onto the bed. Too soon she was wrapped up in a warm embrace, Fernando pulling her in and pressing a soft kiss to her temple while still being half asleep. Pressing their bodies closer together, the heat making her feel alive, Linda knew that she wouldn’t give up. They all deserved some happiness after all.

 

*~*

 

_**Fernando:**_ _The Beaumont, Room #308. You have two days, don’t mess it up. ;)_

 

*~*

 

As always, the summer break was over too soon. Marc never minded getting back on his bike, but right now, despite leading the world championship, he couldn’t cope with the whole craziness around it - especially not sponsor events where he had to be smiley and cheery for the camera, while all he wanted was to go back to his bed and hide until the next race.

It had been bearable again, his heart had started to heal after everything that had happened last year - until that stupid mistake. But in that moment it had felt so good, had felt so right. Yet there was this voice in his head that constantly told him that it would just be like before. It wouldn’t matter if those sweet words would be whispered in Italian or English with Australian accent.

Ripping his shirt over his head, Marc was just about to get into the shower, hoping to wash it all away, when he heard the knock on his hotel room door. For a moment he was about to just ignore it, not wanting to see another face today, but he knew that if it was somebody from his team, it would be important and they wouldn’t leave him alone after all. Groaning, he turned around and opened the door in a swift motion.

“What’s...?”

The words died in his mouth as he was met with eyes that were a little less familiar, but burning even hotter than the last time he had seen them. And once again, time stood still.

He just stood there, staring, with his mouth hanging open, while Mark gasped quietly, obviously not as prepared as he had hoped. They had to look ridiculous to anybody who might have seen them, but Marc didn’t care. He didn’t care at all, apart from the fact the older man had come here, that he was standing in front of his door, that he looked as desperate as he felt himself.

“What are you doing here?”

“I had to see you again...”

Those six simple words, spoken with so much emotion, so much truth, were enough. They were enough to silence the voice in his head, they were enough to admit that this risk was one he could take. And when Marc reached out and took Mark’s hand, he knew that sometimes he needed to take a risk to win a race - or in this case, win a heart.

 


	13. Serenade (Jorge/Marc)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Prompt: "Don't say that. Not now."**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ever since seeing and hearing Jorge sing, I've been toying with this idea (for those who don't know the video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RuqRIVox7hU)
> 
> To be honest, I struggled a bit with this one, so I'm not really sure how it turned out. Please let me know what you think :)
> 
> _Warning: slight mentioning of alcohol and drug abuse._

Jorge still felt the rush from the sold out concert. Nothing beat standing on the stage, looking into thousands of faces, hearing them sing your songs back to you. Jorge had played all around the world, but some places were more special than others and Barcelona definitely was one of them.

The adrenaline still running through him, he would have loved to throw a huge party and smashing his backstage room, but he knew that he had an important interview and photo shoot the next day and his manager would personally kill him if he fucked it up.

However, he knew that in his current state he would be unable to sleep anyway and an empty hotel room was not the place he wanted to be in right now. Hoping a goodnight drink would be a good midway solution, Jorge soon found himself in an almost empty hotel bar. After sitting down and ordering his drink, the expensive whiskey not hurting his wallet in any way, Jorge let his eyes wander through the room, not expecting anything interesting this far into the night.

That was until a young man came into view, nursing a bottle of beer himself. And when that man finally looked up, Jorge knew that he wouldn’t need to go to bed alone tonight - he would make sure of that. Picking up his tumbler, Jorge slowly walked over to him, never taking his eyes of those dark chocolate brown pools that kept fixating him. As Jorge sat down next to him, he couldn’t place the feeling that the young man’s face felt slightly familiar, but having shaken a million hands in his life time, he didn’t think twice about it.

“Hey...”

“Hi.”

“I’m Jorge.

“Marc.”

*~*

Jorge wasn’t surprised when he found the bed empty the next morning. Turning on his back, a smile spread on his face because it was definitely a night worth remembering. As soon as he closed his eyes again, he saw him lying there again, in all his perfection - the body, the face, the eyes...

The smile on Jorge’s face soon turned into a grin when he suddenly realised where he had seen those eyes before. Now his only hope was that, one day, Marc would be standing in the front row of one of his concerts again.

*~*

If asked, he would have never admitted to scanning the front row before going up on stage. He simply hesitated on the last step to get himself pumped up by the roaring of the crowd.

But seeing him there, right in front of the stage, gave Jorge a push like he had never felt before. He quickly grabbed a sheet of paper with tonight’s set list and scribbled down a few words, making sure to put his hotel room number on there.

“Hey, Juan! Do you see that guy in the middle of the front row? Not too tall, short brown hair, white shirt?”

“Yeah, what about him?”

“Can you make sure he gets this in the break?”

His long trusted sound technician only nodded as he took the note, this not being the first time something like this happened, but for once Jorge didn’t intend it to be a simply post concert distraction. Taking another deep breath and hoping his grin wouldn’t be too obvious, Jorge waited until his guitarist started the notes to the first song before he finally jumped on stage, the noise of the crowd almost knocking him over.

“Hola Madrid!”

*~*

After the concert in Valencia, Jorge didn’t wake up to an empty bed. This time there was a note waiting for him on the pillow which still smelled so much like Marc.

_I hope I’m reading this right and I hope that next time there won’t be a bra on the bed that needs hiding. I know you’re a busy man, but maybe, if you’re up for it, we don’t need to wait for the next concert. Give me a call if you feel like it - 473 901 293..._

*~*

Things changed when the next album wasn’t as successful as everybody had hoped. There was still his music, still Marc every few weeks in another hotel room, as well as once in his mansion outside Barcelona.

However, there were more irritating interviews, more party, girls and alcohol, including a very messed up night with something that had looked like cocaine, but could have been anything.

With every passing day, Jorge felt more burnt out, like a corpse in the middle of a desert. He could literally smell how he reeked of drama every single day. And with the smell of decaying flesh, the vultures came.

*~*

The room was a mess. Despite his drunk and hazy state, that was one of the few things registering in Jorge’s mind. But then, he didn’t care. He didn’t care at all anymore.

Taking another swig from the almost empty vodka bottle, he didn’t even hear the door being opened. Only the loud ‘Fuck’ made him look up.

Of course, it had to be Marc, of all people. Laughing humourlessly, Jorge gestured towards the unmade bed covered in bottles, dirty clothes and ripped sheets of paper.

“Yeah... probably not so much...”

For a moment, Marc just stood there, not understanding what was going on. And in the middle of this mess and chaos, he was still the most beautiful creature Jorge had ever seen. But him being here, in this moment, after everything that had happened, it felt wrong.

Before Marc was even able to form a single question, Jorge fought to get up on his feet, the room swaying while he stumbled over to him.

“Get out! Leave me alone!”

Trying to push the younger man, Jorge almost fell to the floor, Marc catching him in the last moment. He tried to hold him close, but Jorge wouldn’t let him, couldn’t stand feeling his arms around him. Staggering over to the wall, he leaned against it, his eyes trying to get Marc into focus.

“Jorge... what happened?”

“You fucking know what happened. You saw it. You must have seen it... They fired me. They’re not going through with the new album, they cancelled the tour. And all of that just because I occasionally like to fuck a guy...”

Jorge could pinpoint the exact moment when his words hit home. Marc frowned, immediately taking a step back, the hurt on his face more than obvious.

“Occasionally... fuck a guy...”

“Yeah... because that’s what it is, right? A cheap fuck to pass the time...”

“That’s... that’s not true... Don’t say that. Not now...”

“I can say whatever the fuck I want. I have no idea what you think this is, but it’s a 99% chance it’s not true. I don’t even know your second name. So how could it be more than that?!”

Waiting for an answer that Marc was unable to give, Jorge just shrugged and picked up the bottle to empty it in a swift motion. The sound of a chocked back sob somehow found its way to his ears as he slid down the wall, ending up in a heap on the floor.

Jorge didn’t know if it was the bottle shattering or his heart when he caught the sight of Marc turning around, all but fleeing from the scene. He waited for the bang of the door, the sign that everything would truly be lost, but it didn’t come.

Looking up from his place on the floor, he saw Marc’s back, slightly hunched over and shaking with every breath, the face closely pressed to the wooden surface of the door.

“Alentà.”

For a moment Jorge wasn’t even sure if Marc had actually said something or if his mind was playing tricks on him.

“What?”

“Alentà. Marc Márquez Alentà. My second name...”

Unable to move himself, Jorge just looked on as Marc slowly turned around, first his face, then his body, before hesitating for another moment. The picture started to blur, silent tears were falling from his eyes, when the younger man pushed himself from the door as in gaining some momentum, taking one step at a time before finally getting down to his knees in front of Jorge. A steady hand reached out and warmth spread through him as Marc lay it on his wet cheek.

“Baby... come home with me...”

*~*

Pushing his sunglasses further up his nose, the bright sunshine not helping his hangover in the slightest, Jorge looked out of the windscreen, when Marc stopped the car after coming up the driveway.

It was beautiful. Marc’s Catalan style house was standing on top of a small hill, surrounded by the typical grassy rocky landscape. Turning his head around, Jorge realised that he could see for miles, with only hints of the nearby town of Cervera lurking up between the hills.

“And that’s yours?”

“Yeah...”

“Didn’t you say something about working in a garage?”

Pulling out the car keys, Marc simply grinned and shrugged before getting out. Jorge was quick to follow him. His ears soon caught the roaring sound of a motorcycle. With the curiosity winning over the heavy feeling in his limbs, Jorge started to walk around the house where the hilly countryside had been turned into a motocross track.

He could almost feel his jaw hitting the floor, watching on as a young man in bright blue clothes showed not a single sign of fear while jumping over the large hills. Only a few moments later, he realised that there were also a few more men closer to the track, talking and laughing together, still oblivious about his arrival.

Despite the background noise, Jorge heard Marc’s steps in the gravel behind him, not needing to turn around when he felt a hand on his lower back, slowly pulling him in. Swallowing against the lump in his throat, Jorge lay his head on Marc’s shoulder.

“Why did you never tell me about this?”

“Well, you never asked. And it all seemed pretty small and unimportant compared to your world.”

“Hmm...”

“It’s not much. I’m running a small motocross club. The house used to belong to my grandfather. And I think the farthest my friends ever travelled was Jerez. But it’s home and it’s my life. I don’t know if it’s enough for you. It’s all I have to offer...”

Without looking up, Jorge took Marc’s hand, their fingers intertwining in a careful touch.

“It’s more than enough for me...”

 


	14. Lost Cause (Marc/?)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Prompt: Break Me**

Marc didn’t know what it was that made him fall for Dani. He had always been his hero, had always been his admired teammate. But somewhere along the way, there had been a turning point, when a short chat before the press conference left him with butterflies in his stomach, a handshake in parc fermé made his skin burn, when a short hug left him speechless for the rest of the day. Marc just knew that Dani had settled down in his mind and he couldn’t get him out of there anymore.

And after long years of silent yearning, years of heartbreak and hard lessons, he found himself sitting in a rented car on the street in front of Dani’s house in Geneva. He couldn’t really remember booking the flight or leaving his own home this morning. Something had snapped inside him and he simply had to do it - to finally face Dani and tell him the truth.

Taking a deep breath, trying to push his mind into race mode, Marc got out of the car. He walked up the drive way, his eyes focused on the front door. Shaking his hands to get rid of his trembling fingers, he rang the door bell. And within one second the anxiety was back, rising with every passing moment.

Marc started to wonder if maybe Dani wasn’t home at all and everything would be one big mess once again, when he heard the noise of somebody walking up to the door. Finally being met with Dani’s face, right here and now, beat every single victory he had ever achieved in his career.

“Marc?”

“Hi...”

“What... what are you doing here?”

Biting his lips as he took in Dani’s confusion, there was just the tiniest hint of doubt creeping up on him. But he wouldn’t be Marc Marquez if he gave up now.

“I... I need to tell you something...”

Marc watched on when he noticed the frown on Dani’s face. The older man looked over his shoulder for a moment, about to step closer and shut the door a little bit, almost as if he wanted to hide something from Marc.

“You know, maybe right now isn’t such a good time...”

Marc was just about to cut in, not willing to let his chance slip away like that, when he noticed someone on the other end of the hallway.

“Babe, do you know where I put my phone this morning?”

Marc knew that voice. It was ringing in his ears, a deafening sound drowning out the shattering of his heart when his mind processed the picture of a half naked Jorge Lorenzo in Dani’s house.

There were echoes of Dani’s voice calling his name as Marc turned around and ran.

~*~

Alex had known that something was wrong. Ever since Marc had come back from his short disappearance, he seemed different, seemed distant. Every time he had asked him, his brother had only answered that he was fine. He knew that he was anything but fine, and that he would crack at a certain point.

And that point came during an innocent game of FIFA. Scoring a goal against his brother’s team, Alex threw up his arms with a yell of joy, when he turned around, friendly mocking on his lips. However, there was no anger or frustration on Marc’s face. There were tears running down his face.

“Marc?”

Alex could only watch as Marc slightly shook his head, biting his lip as if he was still fighting it despite knowing that he had already lost. Only seconds later, Marc was a shaking mess in Alex’s arms, the game paused and forgotten.

“Marc, what’s wrong?”

The only answer were increasing sobs as Marc buried his face in Alex’s hoodie, before the first fragments of words were filtering through to him.

“I’m so... so stupid. How could I believe...? Him... of all people... God, I love him... I love him so much... and he will never love me back...”

Alex stared down at the mess that was his older brother. His words were flying through his mind, desperately trying to make sense. It actually took him a moment to realise what his brother was telling him right here and now. A feeling of fondness was bursting into his chest, that Marc was trusting him so much to tell him about such an intimate secret he had been hiding, all while his heart was breaking into a million pieces for him.

“Who?”

Marc looked up at him. Tears still shimmering in his eyes.

“Dani... I love Dani...”

Alex hugged him close again, unable to react in any other way to this mess. He could feel the wetness creeping through his hoodie as Marc’s sobs returned. And it was in this moment that Alex noticed a movement in the doorway to the living room. Looking up, he was met with another miserable face, drowned in tears, before José slowly turned around and left again.

 


	15. Nightmare (Jorge/Dani; Enea/?; Marc/José)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Prompt: Quiet me!**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My reaction to this day. This was a quick write and not proof read. And I'm sorry...

Dani looked at the TV in shock. He simply couldn’t believe what he was seeing, what he was witnessing with his own eyes. The words sounded foreign to him, even though it was the language he had grown up with. But right now, it was a message from his darkest nightmares.

“Jorge!”

“What is it?”

The younger man could hear the distress in his partner’s voice, enough to scare him, enough to just drop the frying pan he had been handling in the kitchen, before rushing into the living room.

At first he didn’t see it, didn’t hear it. All Jorge could see was Dani’s hand reaching for him, his skin pale, his fingers shaking.

“What is it? What’s wrong?”

“They passed it. They passed the law...”

“What...?”

Frowning, Jorge finally looked up at the news broadcast on the TV. For a moment, he was sure that he had to be dreaming, that this had to be a nightmare. But the same words were repeated over and over again; and they brought a shiver down his spine. Jorge could feel his legs starting to shake and if it hadn’t been for Dani pulling him down on the couch with him, he surely would have collapsed. Instead they just sat there, unable to speak for a long moment, as their hands didn’t let go from each other.

“You know what that means, right?”

Jorge just nodded before pulling Dani close. He could feel the older man trembling in his arms while Dani buried his face in his chest. Then suddenly, as if struck by lightning, Jorge got up, leaving Dani with a confused frown in his face while he rushed over to their study. He could feel Dani’s eyes on his back as he started to dig through the papers in drawer of his desk.

When he finally found what he was looking for, Jorge could literally feel the air of relief pumping into his chest. Clutching the letter close to his chest, he returned to Dani. As he sat down, he simply pulled the older man closer, pressing his lips to his forehead in a desperate kiss.

“What is it?”

“We got the letter a couple of weeks ago and to be honest I hadn’t really thought about it until now. It says... that we have been residents of Switzerland long enough to apply for Swiss citizenship.”

“But that means...”

“Yeah. If we hurry and do this, that European law won’t affect us. They won’t be able to charge us if we’re Swiss citizens. We might never be able to get married, but at least it won’t be illegal for me to be in love with you. Not like at home in a couple of days...”

Jorge saw the tears falling from Dani’s eyes. There was so much more unspoken, but the simple nod was enough. This time it was Dani pulling him close, catching his lips in a salty kiss. The news reporter was still talking in the background when they pulled apart, laying their foreheads against each other, as Jorge pressed his hand against Dani’s chest, feeling his heart’s beat slowly return to normal again.

~*~

Enea ignored the constant pounding on his door, pressing his pillow against his ears. Single words were still filtering through as his parents called out to him from the hallway. But he didn’t want to see them right now, didn’t want to talk to them or answer their questions. His cry in the living room when they had heard the news had been enough of an statement for them.

He didn’t know what to do, didn’t know what was waiting for him in the future, couldn’t know what was going on in a very similar situation in just another room across Europe - the only difference was that those words were being said in French instead of Italian. So the only thing he could say, when minutes later his phone was ringing and a strained voice asked him how was he doing, was “I don’t know.” And for the very first time, no response - no matter how sweet it might have been - could calm him down.

~*~

Marc could only stare ahead of him, listening to Alex pacing in the hallway. The ticking clock in the background was a morbid soundtrack to the rushed beating of his heart. He didn’t need to look up, he already knew that time was running out on him. And this time, no last minute pole lap could save him. This time shaky breaths couldn’t calm him down, when he heard the door bell ringing. He knew that they couldn’t run anymore; red flag, end of race.

In a silent cry for help, he reached out, taking José’s hand in his own when they voices could be heard from the front door. His heart was going for Alex - his younger brother still fighting, still trying to argue and find a way out. It was in vain. One last time, Marc pulled José close for a desperate kiss, before he could feel the cold metal of the handcuffs around his wrists, before being led away, leaving a broken younger brother behind.

 


	16. Purple (Marc/?)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Prompt: Fight me.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Warning: mentions of domestic violence._

Marc carefully inspected his temple in the mirror. The stark light in the bathroom made his skin glow in a pale tone, the dark bruise building a distinctive contrast to the rest of his face. He could barely stop himself from touching it, knowing it would hurt, but a small part of his brain still had problems recognizing the reality of it.

Sighing, he grabbed his toiletry bag and stepped out of the bathroom, turning off the light behind him. His body remembered the movements of packing his suitcase, his mind drifting to the guest room next door in the meantime.

Only when he closed the zipper and looked down at the bed - their bed - he realized that there couldn‘t have been a worse timing for this. He didn‘t want to leave now, but he had to or otherwise people would start asking questions. Marc picked up his cap from the night stand and pulled the suitcase off the bed.

Hesitant steps took him out of the bedroom, only to come to an halt in front of the closed door of the guest room. For a moment he just listened, hoping for any kind of sound, but there was nothing. Carefully, Marc lay his hand on the smooth surface of the door, the cool wood heating under his touch, but he never managed to knock. Instead, he turned around and pulled his suitcase behind him on the way to his car.

~*~

For once in his life Marc was glad that he didn’t share the car during the drive to the track. He had pulled his cap deep into his face, sunglasses covering his eyes, but despite all the efforts of hiding he could still feel it.

About half an hour away from his destination, he could feel his phone vibrate in his pocket. He didn’t even need to look at it to know who it was. Even though he could have easily stopped by the side of the road, Marc had the feeling that it was too soon. He still needed some time to think - he needed an idea how they could go on without anyone being hurt again.

~*~

Being passed through security, Marc soon found a free parking spot and only a moment after he had turned off the engine, he saw a familiar figure walking up to him.

After a short wave of hello, José opened the car’s boot, taking out the suitcase, while Marc still stared ahead, trying to find the courage to get out of the car. His decision was taken from him only a moment later, when José banged on the roof the car, his happy mumbling filtering through the door. Marc had to take a deep breath before he finally opened the door.

“Hey, you know, you could have called, I would have... Fuck! Fuck, Marc! What happened?”

José’s shocked eyes burned right through under his skin, while Marc tried to pull the cap deeper into his face. He could already see the thousand things running through his friend’s mind, anger soon replacing worry.

“Don’t. Seriously, José, just don’t...”

“But...”

“No.”

Without saying anything else, Marc started walking towards the part of the paddock where the motorhomes were located. He could feel José’s eyes constantly on his neck, but he appreciated that the older man kept quiet. Catching the first glimpse of their new motorhome, Marc suddenly stopped, wincing more than he should have when José walked into him.

“Sorry, you okay?”

Unable to answer immediately, Marc swallowed against the lump in his throat, until he knew that his voice wouldn’t break.

“Is Alex here already?”

“He arrived this morning, but he and your dad are out with the team at the moment.”

Letting out the breath he didn’t knew he had been holding, Marc sighed and slowly continued to walk on, before José’s hand on his arm stopped him. As he turned around, he could see the concern in the older man’s eyes, and something so much deeper, something that shouldn’t be there after the things Marc had done.

“I really know that you don’t want to talk about it, but are you sure that you’re okay?”

For a moment Marc just looked at him, his own eyes still hidden behind the tinted sunglasses, and he wondered how they ended up being here today, how things could have turned out so differently. But then he simply pulled José in for a hug, not caring how it would look to anybody passing by. Feeling the strong arms around him, Marc pressed his face into José shoulder, his words more felt than heard.

“I will be okay, I promise.”

Pulling back, Marc somehow was able to put a smile on his face, before turning around again; his hand probably lingering a moment too long on José shoulder.

~*~

_Babe, please let us talk about this. I’m so sorry. Come over later tonight, please? I love you. I’m sorry._

~*~

Marc could hear José working in the kitchen area, probably preparing his snacks for the weekend, while he was studying some work sheets Emilio had left for him. At this point the slight pulsing in his temple had returned and he just had to shed the cap and sunglasses.

Even though he hadn’t looked up, he had seen José’s face, but instead of starting another discussion, he had just gone and got Marc a cool pack, which he was now pressing against his temple. About to be finished and already wondering how he was supposed to manage dinner tonight, as well, as thinking what to reply to the earlier message, Marc barely noticed the voices coming from outside.

When the door opened, it was too late to react as he was suddenly faced with Alex stopping right in the front door. Julia’s question from behind him of why he didn’t walk on, was barely reaching through the fog and drumming in his ears. Unable to hide, Marc simply stared at the floor, as Alex walked over to him. He could feel him sit down next to him, slowly prying the cool pack out of his hand. The loud hiss was enough to bring tears to Marc’s eyes. Alex’s fingers were hovering over the bruise, but before he touched the sensitive skin, his hand turned into a fist, shaking with anger.

“It was him, right?”

Marc didn’t even get a chance to answer as Alex suddenly stood up, already on his way out of the motorhome before any of them could react.

~*~

He was sitting on his couch, still staring at his mobile. He knew that Marc had read the message, but he still hadn’t replied and a part of him feared that this would be it, that this was the final straw - and in that case he had no idea what to do. He would be lost without Marc. Sighing, he got up, knowing he should probably freshen up a bit before the team dinner tonight, as he suddenly heard a loud bang on the door of his motorhome.

“JORGE!”

He knew that voice, but he had never heard it like this before. Even though he was aware that it would probably be better not to answer, he found himself opening the door only a moment later.

Jorge didn’t even have a chance to say something, as Alex came rushing in, immediately hauling him up by his sweater and banging him against the wall.

“You fucking asshole! What the fuck did you do to him? What the fuck did you do?”

Alex’s screams were hammering right into his mind. Looking up at the eyes full of anger and hate, Jorge immediately started to shake. He couldn’t fight it. Images and voices were rushing up inside his brain and suddenly he wasn’t in his motorhome any more, but a place he never wanted to see again. Jorge felt like he was suffocating and dying right here and now, when suddenly there was another voice and the pressure on his throat seized away.

“For fuck’s sake, Alex! Stop it!”

“He fucking did this to you! He hit you!”

“Alex, that’s not true!”

Jorge could only look on as Alex tried to free himself from his brother’s hold, silent tears running down his face and making the scene even more unreal. Through the fog in his mind, he could see Alex’s eyes burning as the younger man shoved his hand against his chin.

“You fucking stay away from him! I swear if you as much as touch him again, I will kill you. You hear me?!”

“ALEX, IT’S ENOUGH!”

Marc finally managed to pull Alex away, shoving him onto the couch, shielding Jorge with his body as he pushed the door close. Unable to hold his own weight, Jorge slowly slid down the wall, his shaking fingers reaching out to Marc’s leg, needing the touch to know what was reality and what was hidden memories.

Despite it being the lightest touch ever, Marc must have felt it, as he turned around and crouched down in front of Jorge. The older rider’s attention immediately was drawn to the bruise on Marc’s temple. He was unable to fight the sob escaping his throat as he reached out. So afraid that Marc would flinch away, he felt more than just relieve as he lay his cheek into his hand. Only a moment later, Jorge found himself in Marc’s strong arms, while sobs were shaking his body. Unable to look at Alex, who was still sitting only a few metres away from them and was staring at them with a mixture of confusion and anger.

“How can you do this? He fucking hit you!”

“I told you, that’s not true...”

Burying his face deeper into Marc’s shirt, all Jorge could do was listen to the brothers’ conversation while trying to concentrate solely on the touch of Marc’s fingers in his hair.

“It’s true that we had a fight. And it’s true that I hit my head on banister of the stairs, but in a certain way that was my own fault. Because, seriously, Jorge would be the last person in this world to ever lay a finger on me...”

Marc bent down and kissed Jorge’s forehead before bringing his lips down to Jorge’s ear.

“Can I tell him?”

The soft whisper was like a soothing warmth and Jorge ended up nodding, not wanting to think about possible consequences.

“The reason why we were fighting was probably because I pushed Jorge too much, in an emotional way. You see, Alex, before we got together, Jorge was in another relationship... And his partner... he... he abused him. He often hit him and called him things I don’t want to repeat here. And that’s why sometimes, he kind of closes up and I’m unable to reach him like that. Sometimes I don’t know why this happens. And despite me knowing that, I still push his buttons, while I should know better. You know how I can be sometimes, hell, even Mom knows how I can be sometimes. And now imagine how you would feel if you’d been threatened because that’s all you know. When your only way out seems to push back. So I fucking deserved this because I was a dick. It was just an unlucky situation. But despite everything, I love Jorge because once you get through this thousands layers of protection, he’s the most beautiful human being I know. And if it means getting a little bump on my head to have him in my life and help him get over his demons, then that’s more than worth it.”

 


End file.
